6 Thoughts that cross a bride’s mind on her first night!

Ah, the suhaag raat. The night when the bride and groom shall consummate their marriage. For some, it turns out to be a fruitful endeavor while for others, not so much. The couple is attacked with sly glances and lame jokes the minute all the wedding rituals are over. On the topic of weddings, the great PK once said, “Shaadi-byah mein pataka phod ke, band baaja ke kehte hai ki aaj I am having sex!” So true. Almost everyone who attends your wedding assumes that you are going to have sex that day. Even the most conservative family members crack jokes about it!

Millions of thoughts run through the poor couple’s minds. Guesswork, my old friend even told me about the kind of thoughts that go through a bride’s mind during her first wedding night! This is of course based on the assumption that this is the first time the bride and groom are having sex with each other!

1. Sleep

“Mujhe sone do yaar!” might be ringing in the brides head. First of all, the 5 days of festivities must have worn both of them out. Top with that she wore a 188kgs ka lehenga + jewellery. Do you know how much time will it take to remove everything? Not to forget, the juda! It’s like peeling an onion layer after layer! So yeah, she is not wrong in demanding some sleep! Imagine how embarrassing it would be if she sleeps midway through the act!

2. Size

Does size matter? Maybe it does! Thoughts about ‘how big is it’ are very common. The average Indian size is 4-5 inches…a little too small if you ask me! Girls, if you have marriage on your minds and don’t want to settle for popsicle sticks, I suggest you transfer to Africa or South America!

3. Will He Last?

Ummm…very very very few men can actually last as long as women. Or even come close to it. So naturally, a girl’s concern about his performance are legit!

4. Satisfaction

This is of the utmost importance! Experience and the internet tell me that 60% of women are not satisfied with their sex life. Mainly penetration. A bride keeps on thinking if she’ll be satisfied by the end of it. Men, I implore you, please don’t be like Paras (Vicky Kaushal) from Lust Stories! You’ve got fingers and a tongue. Use them well. Period.

5.  Bollywood

For years Bollywood movies have depicted suhaag raat in a very weird manner. Naturally, a bride must be thinking if the bed will be decorated, will she be serving milk in a brass glass to the groom and will she have a ghoonghat on her head? Only time will tell!

6. Family

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god! Abh toh mummy, papa, Tommy, etc etc, everybody will come to know that I’ve had sex!!”  Poor bride. Must have hidden her previous encounters successfully but how can she escape this? Initial days might get a little awkward for her!

Brides, did y’all go through a similar ordeal? Let us know if you went through more!

Cover Photo: Design Aqua Studio